5 Classes I Wish Had Been Available

Classes started this week for colleges across the country. While I miss college a lot less than I did last year, I've been thinking of classes that I wish were available to take. I keep reading articles about how college is meant to expand your mind and not to get you a job and they are making me angry. Obviously college is meant to expand your mind, but there is no reason that it can't also prepare you to use your mind in a practical way that will land you a job.

So, a list of classes I wish had existed:

1. Essay Writing in 140 characters or less. Employers need effective social media people. Even Obama's Re-Election Campaign is looking.
2. How to Swallow...your Pride. In college it is encouraged to challenge authority and stand up for what you believe in. In the work place it is a little less so. Telling a professor he is wrong and explaining why you think so gets you some respect; telling a boss he's wrong likely gets you fired.
3. Time Management. In college we would procrastinate for 2 weeks, then pop an adderol or drink 3 Monsters and write your 25 page paper in a night. Not an option at most jobs. You need to manage your time effectively so you can leave sooner.
4. Stupid People 101. Unfortunately once you have a job where you deal with people you will understand this. You can't just tell people to Shut the F*** Up when they are being stupid. That's how you lose clients. You need to learn to manage the stupid people so that it has the least effect on the business.
5. List Making. Personally, I'm already an expert at lists, but there are so many people who would benefit from them. It helps both your organization and you evaluation. If your supervisor wants to know what you did today, all you have to do is show them what is crossed off of that list. No stumbling for words so they know you were on FaceBook.

Those are my top five. Are there any other classes that you wish had been available in college?

Calling Out Sick

This is a touchy subject in most offices. On one hand, employers don't want their employees coming in sick and infecting an entire office. On the other hand, it seems like there is unspoken judgement whenever someone calls out. Are they really sick, or do they just have a mild headache that an ibuprofen would cure? Here are a few ways to ensure that you don't get any raised eyebrows around your office. Feel free to leave your other ideas with the comments!

1. If you know you'll want a day off, just schedule it. Don't fake sick to extend your weekend. Most of us are not amazing actors, and after your third "cough, cough.. I'm sick.." phone call on a Friday morning, your employers are going to know.

2. If you are actually sick, make sure to call the appropriate people. Call your supervisor, office manager, whoever schedules payroll at your office, and let them now. Briefly explain why you aren't feeling well (no need to include a puking count or description here..) and say that you'll be sorry to miss work.

3. Catch up on work upon your return in a timely fashion.

4. Don't take "mental health days" unless they really are for your mental health. Example 1: a close relative or friend passes away or you actually need to see a psychologist for an emotional issue = mental health day.  Example 2: You and your boyfriend are taking a break for the fifth time, you need a new manicure, and you want to catch up on laundry = not mental health day worthy.

This isn't to say that you're never allowed to take a day off for "me time", just schedule it in advance so everyone can prepare for your absence!

5 Things to Do During Irene

As I am looking out my living room window at the wind and rain, I figured it might be helpful to share some ideas on things we can do to wait it out. Only some of these still apply if the power goes out. I would also like to add that drinking is implied with all of the below, which is why it doesn't have its own number.

1. Start the project you've been putting off. Whether it's the short story you've been trying to get on paper or the painting you just haven't had the chance to begin yet, now is the time.
2. Read. It's relaxing. And Game of Thrones is calling.
3. Catch up on the news. The real news. Not all of this hurricane hysteria. Do you know what the status is in Libya? I didn't think so.
4. The always fun TV show catch up. There's some True Blood that you need to watch and Weeds has gotten pretty good too.
5. Sleep. This is what I plan on doing when the electric finally goes out. My body is craving it. And there are few other things to do with no electric unless you happen to have a special friend over already.

Good luck readers! Hope everyone stays safe and dry.

Most Ridiculous Pickup Lines

Men have interesting ways of trying to get in my pants. Personally I find pick up lines to be more hilarious than effective, but they still keep trying. I guess pick up lines are just part of dating as a Post Grad. Single men our age, especially after they have a few drinks in them, think they might actually work.

Well Post Grad males, they don't. I promise. Not once have I ever slept with someone who used a pickup line on me. I did laugh though. And I'd like to share just a few of the the funniest.

"My d*** is so jealous of my mouth right now. I think you should make things even."

"Let's role play True Blood. You be Sookie and we can f*** fangbanger style."

"I'll give you $50 if I can squeeze your a**. $100 if I can see it."

Those are my top three. Have any of you ever used or received a ridiculous pick up line?

Obligatory Earthquake Story

I feel like I need a post about the earthquake yesterday, mostly because it rocked my life in so many ways. It was my very first physical earthquake. I never want to experience one again. Maybe it was because I was not prepared for it in any way, maybe because they are scary, who knows really? I did decide that I think earthquakes are the scariest natural phenomenon. The ground moves. You can can't hide from that. No shelter can be found when the ground itself is moving.

My first thought though when it struck was that the shaking was caused simply by construction. Then it got stronger and things started coming off the shelves. My first instinct was to run, but to run where? I was wide eyed and horrified.

I am sure people near the epicenter were more in danger than I was, but it was still very traumatic. I decided that the next place I live can't be on a fault line, that's how traumatic.

I want to share one of the emails we got from a client immediately following the incident that made me laugh:

"I grabbed the backup device. It is in my hands. Now what?"

Kudos to you for grabbing the backup, many people I know thought of that only after they ran outside, but we really don't control what happens next.

Juice Cleanse Anyone?

Lately, I've been feeling pretty run down and sitting at my work desk all day definitely isn't helping. I've been trying to eat healthier, but I just feel like I need some sort of extra boost. So, I made my own cleansing green juice with a blender, based on the recipe I found on Youtube here. I love kale, so this recipe seemed like a great choice for my first green juice.

Ingredients: Kale, Cucumber, Agave Nectar, Lemon Juice
Tools: Blender, Strainer

My Reaction: Thanks to the agave nectar and lemon juice, this drink actually has a sweet taste to it, which I was not expecting at all. I really am enjoying making these a few times a week and would suggest this to anyone looking for a light green juice. The only downside is the messy cleanup and the fact that the drink smells a little bit like grass.

Chincoteague

This weekend we made the trip to Chincoteague Island to visit a friend from college who works there. Seeing the city melt away behind us was the best feeling in the world. I am going to apologize up front because I forgot to take pictures of all the pretty things, I was having too much fun for that.

Saturday night I looked up and saw a sky full of stars. In DC the sky is always an eerie orange color at night and stars are nowhere to be found. They were really pretty and I appreciated being in the middle of nowhere for a little while.

Chincateague is known for its ponies, but what a lot of people don't know is that there is a wildlife refuge there as well as several Navy and NASA programs. The friend we went to visit has clearance to go to the NASA beach. No joke. She showed a badge, filled out a form, and we got our own private beach for the day. Well, we had to share them with the ghost crabs and horseshoe crab moltings, but that was better than the hordes of people the other beach had. It reminded me of Dan Brown's "Deception Point" actually because of the proximity to the ocean and all the gear that was there for NASA. I also learned that the station we were next to is meant to protect DC from missiles fired from the ocean. I never would've guessed that we are being protected by some guns 3.5 hours away.

I was really impressed by nature friend's knowledge of the random stuff we were finding on the beach. In my head I know it's her job to know these things, but she is only person I know who can tell you exactly what kind of shell you just picked up. She is also fearless and had a stand down with a giant ghost crab. Most of the ones we saw were babies you could barely see (pictured above) because of their camouflage. This one was huge and did not run away from us.

And now I have to re-enter the real world which makes my soul want to leap from my body and go back to Chincoteague.