Post Grad Dating Rituals

For many college students, dating centers around house parties, bars, texting, library study dates, and the occasional next-day brunch. In my experience, college dating is generally low key and very low pressure. After all, it's tough balancing a boyfriend with the ten page papers, reality tv marathons, friend time, and studying we have to attend to!

When we graduate, things change. All of a sudden your two friends that dated throughout college are engaged, others are moving in together, and the couple that you swore would make it are ending things because they're moving to different cities. The single ones? Well they have to navigate a whole new dating scene that can range from "grabbing drinks" after work, to dinner dates at nicer restaurants that actually close before 2 am.

Recently, my boyfriend showed me this article by John Ross who gives advice to a young guy who is about to take a girl he really likes out on a first date. To me, the tips Ross gives seem to cater more towards a young man who isn't involved in the college scene so much anymore.. so I'm curious to know if you all think these techniques might work in the post grad dating scene. The first time I read the article, I was completely offended. The second time, I was intrigued.

Ladies- Have you ever had a guy act this way towards you? Did his actions reel you in or push you away?

Guys- Have you ever treated a woman this way? Did she become your girlfriend, or did you end up with a burning red hand print across your cheek?

Do you think any of Ross's rules have a place in the post grad dating scene? Please check out the article and comment with your opinion- I'd love to know your thoughts.

(the article takes a few seconds to load, so wait it out!)


  1. Although the article is filled with terms from the "seduction" and "pick-up artist" community and takes it a bit too far, it does work. This is because once you distill the article, it basically comes down to telling the original poster to be a confident and independent man compared to being a push-over traditional "nice-guy."

    Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a nice guy. Nice guys don't finish last. Spineless, placating nice guys finish last and confident, self-assured nice guys finish first -- at least with women. Jerks and bad boys appeal to girls who still have to grow-up. This applies to college and post-grad.

    The bottom line is that women (and it probably goes both ways) don't respect someone that doesn't have a good sense of self-worth about themselves. Placating, buying gifts, doing favors all the time without reciprocation, these are all things that lower the status of the individual to the recipient's eyes. That's not someone anyone wants to date, even if they are interesting or nice. People should do something nice for the person because they themselves want to, not because they want to buy or earn affection as most nice guys do.

    So without responding to every point in the article at the moment, yes, Ross's rules do work because they're really not based on anything profound, but there is a way to do it without being a total douche. A lot of guys that start reading books like The Game by Neil Strauss and stuff do take those tenets to another level and are just jerks instead of just changing their behavior slightly to help present themselves in a more appealing way.

  2. It's a good blog. keep up.

  3. The tips Ross shared about dating is priceless. It is hard to figure out if you are used understand dating like in a Hollywood movie. What people fail to realize is it really doesn't work that way when it comes to attraction.

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