I feel like I have settled into post grad life in all the worst ways. I have a steady job. I have a place to live. I have friends in the area. I have romantic interests. On paper it looks like I've adjusted. The only problem is that I haven't and all I want is change. This is where all of my thoughts have decided to diverge into nothing but chaos.
Allison and I were talking today about moving to Austin together in 2 years, which we have every intention of doing. But while we were looking for apartments on Craigslist that might be available again in 2 years, all I could think was "Why are we waiting 2 years?"
Realistically it makes sense to wait. We need to be established in the workforce in order to be an in-demand employee in the future. We need to save up money to move so far away. But being "settled" in my post grad life the way I am right now makes me want to move now. My life right now is painstakingly bland and repetitive.
I don't want to be at the same job for the next two years. I don't want to be living in the same place for the next two years. I don't want to go to the same old bar every Friday night with the same group of people wearing one of my 3 go-to party outfits. Even going away for a
weekend doesn't seem to break the monotony.
I want to experience something new. I want a more exciting job that's in my field. I want to live somewhere other than the east coast. Being settled has made me feel unsatisfied. Like there has to be something else. And this feeling has just left my brain swirling with plans and ideas like the colors on a tie-dye shirt. All the colors are there. Bright. Welcoming. But there are so many combining my brain can't grasp just one to develop into a complete thought or plan.
I will let you know when the tide recedes and I can think clearly once again. Until then, any ideas to break the pattern?
