Why.

Long weekend is over. This means that I was back to my routine today. Writing-researching- writing -writing -lunch- researching- editing- gym- home. That's my life. Today, I got a bunch of edits on document I had spent so long rewriting and I wondered once again why I chose to pursue a career that is so mentally exhausting. I know all the doctors and lawyers reading this right now (are you guys out there?) are laughing at me as I whine, but sometimes I honestly can't figure out why I chose a profession where others tear apart your work on a daily basis.

Well...yes I can. To be honest, I am drawn towards things that offer me an excuse to stress. I stress about everything, and writing is no exception. I chose a career that would leave my work constantly to be scrutinized by others. Strangely enough, stress is comfortable for me.

With all of this swirling in my head this evening after work, I read Rachel Wilkerson's blog post about choosing one word resolutions (if you don't already- read this girl's blog. She is hilarious and speaks the truth). I thought about my resolution possibilities.. things like "achieve" and "accomplish" came to mind. Then all of a sudden I reached a point of clarity. I don't need to resolve to do these things. I am my own worst critic and I strive to do these things everyday.

What do I really need to resolve for this coming year? I need to RELAX. I need to accept that I can try my hardest, but I can't always control the outcome of everything I do. This also goes for the other people in my life. I can want so much for someone- to the point where I adopt their problems as my own (this is why I'm not a psychologist mom...), but you just cannot change other people. Sometimes I need to let life just go on around me, without trying to alter it all of the time.

Post grad life is a stressful place to be, but this year, I'm not letting it get the best of me.